She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
