Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
