Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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