if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
