I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
