Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
