Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
