Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
