It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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