nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
