I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
