You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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