i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
