Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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