when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
