I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
