i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
