im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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