Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
