Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?

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(209): View more from California

i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me

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(707): View more from California

drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.

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(734): View more from Michigan

THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.

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