I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
