If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This is the high leading the old right now
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
