I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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