She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
