Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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