I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
