Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
