i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
A+ Viking dick
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize