two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
