Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
