Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
