My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
