You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
