trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
