Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
vagina is talking i cant
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
They are going to name an STD after you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
