3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
