I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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