someone get that fucking seahorse.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
