Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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