some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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