Define "chronic" masturbator.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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