Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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