NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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