I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize