Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
