Quick, to the slutcave!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
