Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
