His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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