oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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