just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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