Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she smelled like a LAN party
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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