The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
