he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
