I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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