You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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