Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
