I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
