So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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