at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I love you. Go after that dick
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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