Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.

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(585): View more from New York

It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.

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(812): View more from Indiana

They have edible shot glasses at target.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

There really is a God.

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(214): View more from Texas

You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.

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(281): View more from Texas

She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out

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(914): View more from New York

I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?

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(805): View more from California

I need a pedicure

(1-805): View more from California

You need to go to planned parenthood

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me

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