That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
