Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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